A proposal that should increase seat belt usage

The free flow of information will do more to promote public safety and social progress than any law ever will.

Example: We don't need seat belt laws. In the end they don't work because some people only learn things the hard way. What we need is for news outlets to display full color images of people thrown from their car after an accident. Nobody gives a shit when you say "leading cause of death for people under age 35". There is no drama in that statistic, it has no emotional appeal.

"Can they do that?" Sure they can. For a time, they could show all sorts of carnage and profanity related to 9/11. Last year they showed "Saving Private Ryan" with all the f-bombs and real bombs left intact. Car wrecks kill more people than Osama could ever dream of killing. Its sort of strange that some fear flying on an airplane because of something that happened 4 years ago, but they aren't afraid of flying through a windshield even though someone just did 4 minutes ago.

Similiar shock tactics have worked in the past. Pet adoption rates in a North Carolina town increase after a dog was euthanized on public access television. I don't recommend that Doug Horner try this because the library where we film his show does not allow pets.

If the goal is to promote safety, then this tactic should work. If the goal is to raise funds, then have the coroner sell the photos to Fox News. Either way, its win-win.

Cheney's health problems

Ok. It hard for me make jokes about heart problems when I am taking a course to become a CPR instructer. The following is the best that I could come up with.

A White House spokesman says that Cheney is as healthy as Leonid Brezhnev was when the Soviets reported him to be in perfect health.

Cheney credits his surviving four heart attacks to his embracing the Dark Side of the Force. Now that Bush's poll numbers are at record lows, he is looking for a new apprentice.

Axis and Allies Night

We are going to play "Axis and Allies" the famous WWII board game at Mike Sylvester's house on Febuary 1st. Let Mike know that you are coming and he'll let you know where he lives. We will definitly play the revised version, and older versions may be played if enough people express interest. The game will start at 6pm and will last until the English Channel runs red with the blood of the vanquished.

New Year's Eve Party at Jack's House

Jack and Hillary Evan threw a New Year's Eve party last night. I did drop in, but just as Cinderella had to be home by midnight, I had to be at work by 12am or I would have turned into an unemployed person. (Just kidding! I love my job, my company, and my boss in a platonic and professional way. But my shift started the same time the new year did.)

The highlight of the evening was watching Mike Sylvester debate with some guy named Shawn who works at the library. Shawn insisted that if Mike wanted to stay true to his libertarian beliefs, then he should have sent his kids to a private school. Shawn seemed to be fairly left-wing. This was like watching a gentile lecture a rabbi on how to keep kosher. (I wish I thought of that retort when I was still at the party.)

Jack and Hill, I don't think you read this blog. I could say all sorts of thing about you in this space, but I'm going to say that you both threw a great party. Happy New Year to all.

On a totally unrelated note, "I Like Mike Sly" campaign buttons are on sale at the LPAC store www.cafepress.com/lpallencounty The famous "Bring Mark Souder Home" button are now available here http://www.cafepress.com/classical_lib

Downtown Revitalization

The reason that there has been recent talk about revitalization downtown is because that happens to be the part of town where politicians and newspaper editors work. Let's face it. Unless you drive to Pine Valley or Waynedale everyday, you aren't going to do much thinking about those parts of town.

So now our local leaders want us to do business in the same part of town that they do business in. Do they think that Clinton St, Lafayette St, Washington Blvd, and Jefferson Blvd need more traffic? Sometimes downtown you can see the light change from red to green and back again, and you have only advanced five car lengths.

Traffic and parking set the limit on how much business can grow in a certain part of town. Downtown businesses may be already doing all the business it can this time of year. During the summer months it could attract pedestrian and bicycle traffic. When I get my bike fixed up, it would be my pleasure to be a part of such a trend.

But multimillion dollar hotels do not attract pedestrian traffic! Actually they do, but its usually homeless people asking to use the bathroom. The occupation rates for existing hotels already hovers around 50%, so there isn't much of a market for this service.

No, the goal is to attract conventions. Fort Wayne will have an extra empty building in the hope that the Summit City can play host to a bunch of people wearing Spock ears or dressed like D+D characters.

Many insist that if we attract conventions, Fort Wayne will be on the map. Do we want to be on the map? Fort Wayne has a balance of big city amenities and a small town feel, which is what most people cite as their reason for living here even when they have the option of living elsewhere.

Really, all they really want is a big expensive building that they can claim responsibility for. In that case, I propose that the Reservoir Park hill be converted into a giant pyramid in which to entomb city councilmen in when they die.

BSN: Sleigh, Reindeer Shot Down Over White House Airspace

WASHINGTON DC

A sleigh pulled by 8 reindeer apparently capable of flight was shot down by F15's when the vehicle entered the White House's no-fly zone. When the Air Force attempted to contact the sleigh to warn it away, the pilot's cryptic response was "Ho, Ho, Ho! Merry Christmas!" The NSA has translated this to mean "God is Great! Death to infidels!"

Under intense interrogation the pilot has confessed to being Sharia Claus, the shadowy leader of the Scandinavian terror group, Elf Qaida. Sharia Claus was carrying a large bag of a unknown lumpy black substance. It is not known what the purpose of the substance was.

Domestic Spying is Still Wrong

It has been pointed out to me that the federal government has been spying on US citizens since before the time of J. Edgar Hoover. The fact that it has gone on for so long, during both Republican and Democratic administrations, does not make it anymore right today than it was back then. It means the wrong has gone on for far too long.

There have been some early calls for impeachment over this issue. It is doubtful that such proceedings will take place even if the Democrats gain control of both Houses of Congress in the next election, because there are Democratic fingerprints in the same cookie jar that we caught the GOP hand in.

It is rather like as it is with speed limits. If the speed limit is 65 and everyone drives 70, then nobody gets ticketed for driving 5 over the limit. But those old speed limits were arbitrary safety standards set both in DC and Indy that had nothing to with how fast was actually safe to drive. Nobody is suprised or shocked by warrantless wiretaps for the same reason, but the right to be safe and secure in your own home, the right to not have to testify against yourself, and the right to say what ever you want over the phone without a governement agent recording it make those wiretaps unconstitutional and illegal.

While it is unlikely that anyone will go to jail over domestic spying, (except of course those who are being spied upon) people need to start holding politicians responsible for this. You can't ignore something like this even when the perpetrator is a member of the same establishment party as you.

I strongly suspect that I will only have to change the wording of this post slightly if and when I republish it again when a Democrat is president.