Thoughts on AI

I'll go ahead and disclose that I've played around with AI image generator to make silly images like my cat fighting in WW2 or the Indianapolis Colts winning the World Series. I've decided to put a freeze on that because I'm at a point in my life where I'd just rather make more friends than enemies.

I'm old enough to remember when most people didn't want computers in their homes. There was even a time when I didn't want my own cellphone. I was 26 when I first signed up for one in 2005. We didn't see a need to be constantly connected with everyone else back then. We still had books, magazines, newspapers, vinyl records, cassettes, CD's, TV's, and radios. We had lots of ways to stay entertained. But computers started creeping into homes. Your nerdy friend might show you how cool America Online was, and maybe you'd snap up his old PC cheap when he wanted to upgrade. Eventually we got to a point where the luxury became a necessity. It's a big crisis now when your computer won't boot up, unless it's backed up to the cloud and you can access your data with your phone. We were afraid of becoming dependent on technology, and yet here we are now, a nation of digital junkies.

We can talk about AI generated entertainment. If you work in entertainment, someone should have told you up front that job security isn't a thing. You will likely have to tend bar or work in a warehouse to make ends meet if you want to be an actor. However, there will always be demand for human generated content. I don't use AI to write my stories for the simple reason that I can do a better job on my own. But I think some people might be worried about the possibility that one day, they might discover a new book, read it from cover to cover, decide it was the best thing ever put to print, recommend it to all their friends, buy all the merch, watch the Netflix miniseries based on it, and then find out years later that the story was AI generated. It would be like taking someone home from the bar and having the night of your life and finding out in the morning that they are married or they only make $40,000 a year. 

So yes, I have used AI for memes, but I'm never going to use AI to write. I'm not going to put "No AI Used" on the cover of my book because that's like putting a "No Crack Sold Here" sign in front of my house. Trolls have accused me of being a bot in the past and I'm sure they will again. I'll just roll with it.

A common objection I hear about AI is that data centers consume a lot of water. A data center is being planned in my town, and it would use water from the same source as my house. If there was a drought and push came to shove, I would expect the city would cut off the water to the data center before letting people die from thirst. Because it takes three days to die from dehydration, that would be two days more than it would take a mob of thirsty people to rip open the water main that leads to the data center. I think my own town will have it figured out when it comes to water, so I think we're good on that front and I hope other communities with data centers have it figured out as well. Other countries could build more desalinization plants to increase the world's supply of potable water. So I don't think the water conservation argument is very compelling.

Another objection is that AI uses other people's art to generated prose and images. If you believe your work is being used without your permission, then you are welcome to file a lawsuit for damages. But AI firms could get around this ethical and legal issue by using public domain works to train AI. They could also pay artists for the use of their portfolios. I can see some artists cashing that check if the rent was due and they were low on options. But they are never going to admit that to their friends. I'm not a lawyer, but I'm guessing that fair use might be a defense if you see an AI image that looks way too much like your IP.

But even if the problems of water usage and plagiarism were solved, what it really boils down to is that lots of people just hate AI. Personally, I don't want to talk to a machine like it's a person. I don't want to talk to Alexa or Siri. Machines don't need personalities or moods. They need to function exactly they did when I first started using them and continue to do so until I don't need them anymore. And I'm not a fan of all the uncanny valley images of Jesus walking around in the present day. To be sure there were lots of humorous images that I found funny, but there is so much absolute crap that gets cranked out.

A company might have paid someone to design a new logo in the past, but now they can just enter a prompt and find options that would serve the same purpose. Companies are now using AI to make ads, training videos, and even wall decorations. Some are using AI to make critical financial decisions. Does it make it better or worse if you get laid off by an app instead of a person? A lot of this is just outsourcing responsibility. "I didn't want to lay you off, Bob. The app said we had to!"

So while my own feelings are nuanced, I get why people hate it deeply, and they have a right to try to avoid AI content. Just saying that you hate it is unlikely to result in a ban. If the President is using it openly and corporations are pushing it, then it would appear that generative AI will be around as long as COVID in one form or another. It's a issue that you might be able to mitigate with great effort, but never fully solve.

I do thing there should be a social media platform that does not allow AI content or bots. It would have to be moderated by humans, and those humans would have to be paid. So it would likely have to be a subscription based model. Like if you wanted to sign up for the platform and break its rules, you still have to pay for the privilege of getting permabanned. If you want to create a new account from scratch, you got to pay again. It might be a bare-bones, 90's bulletin board experience, but I think it could work.

Red and Blue (Short fiction)

 

I woke up to find Sheila Nellis, my old high school crush from decades ago, standing in my bedroom in a red sling bikini and six inch Lucite heels.

At first I thought I was dreaming because she still had her braces and her hair was in a Karen bob that nobody under 50 had anymore. And I would never admit even anonymously online that I found Karen bobs and braces to be as sexy as a bikini.

And Sheila was happily married and lived two states away.

She smiled with a mouth full of metal. "Do I have your attention, Seth?"

"Sure."

Suddenly she was wearing a black turtleneck and jeans.

"You already know that I'm not Sheila. But you aren't dreaming either. I'm more real than you are. Say My name."

"You're Satan."

She smiled. "For as long as I've known him, he has never admitted to anyone who he is. Try again."

"You're an angel."

"That's not a name, and you're way off. I'll give one hint, and one more guess. There is only one of Me."

The way she enunciated that first person pronoun was the final proof.

"You are God,’ I told Her.

She nodded.

“Sorry that I was an atheist since high school.”

She shrugged. “I didn’t need you to believe until now.”

“Why do you allow bad things to happen to good people?”

She wagged a finger, and Her voice reached a deep baritone, deeper than any man I’ve met “I decide what is good and what is bad. I decide what is right and what is wrong. And I decide who is good, who is evil, and all shades of grey in between. And I allow you all to have your own opinions based on the very limited information available to you. But now that I’ve established my identity, I have orders for you.”

“I’m listening.”

“Of course. In one week, all humans with Internet access will be required to vote red or blue. Everyone who votes red will live. Everyone who votes blue will only live if more than 50% of all votes are for blue. You will have from noon to 1pm local time to decide. I’m going to spare indigenous tribes, coma patients, and infants, but anyone with their own email account must participate or die.”

“This has to be an elaborate prank, but it’s pretty dumb too. Nobody cares about that meme anymore.”

“I was inspired by the meme to impose the test. Eight billion people around the world are getting the same message as you, Seth. Good luck.”

She vanished. I assumed it was a dream until my mother called. I answered.

“You saw Him too, right?” she asked.

“I did,” I admitted.

“Good. I thought we were all losing our minds in the hospice. The staff saw Him too, but I thought they were just humoring us. What did He look like to you?”

“He looked like a woman.” I was never going to tell anyone about the bikini.

“Well He looked like that one actor who played Him in that movie. I can’t remember the movie but do you know the one I’m talking about?”

“Yes,” I lied.

“Well my friends and I are all voting blue. We’re just about ready to go. God’s calling us all home, so we’re all getting on the bus. But you’re my only son, so promise me you’ll vote red, okay? You have a lot of years ahead of you.”

It was the most sense she made in decades. In a way, that was more miraculous than the divine revelation in my bedroom.

My phone made an irritating beep even though I always kept it set to vibrate.

IMPORTANT PRESIDENTIAL ANNOUNCEMENT, said the notification. Then a video started playing even though I didn’t click anything. The President was standing behind a podium. He was in his suit, but his hair was a mess and he was ghostly pale.

He sighed, then just started talking.

“Look, I saw Him, my Wife saw Him, so we need to talk about this. I’ve agreed to issue an executive order for the development of an official, divinely ordained voting app. All Americans and visiting foreign nationals will be strongly urged to use it to make their selection next Saturday.”

He swallowed hard, then went on “As your commander in chief, I fully support every American’s right to make their own choices…but I’m choosing blue. It’s pretty clear that I have a lot to answer for, so I’m just not going to make it worse for myself. “

I wrote my own post to my 655 followers. “The President is voting blue. Why look a gift horse in the mouth? Let’s vote red and save ourselves.”

I scrolled down to find a video from a verified legacy media account. A pastor of a Texas megachurch declared that he and his followers would all voted blue in order to leave this wicked world behind.

My original post got flamed and ratioed. Three likes and 6K comments. I was declared to be a selfish baby killer, even though God had already said infants were exempt.

So I made a video.

“Folks, it comes down to this. You are NOT going to tell your kids to vote blue. And you shouldn’t want them to be orphans, so you’re going to vote red too. But you want to look like self-important martyrs. Like you’re so special because you want to die and the rest of us want to live.”

My video got taken down and my account got suspended. I shrugged. Soon either all those #VoteBlue clowns would either be dead or exposed as hypocrites.

The Pope issued a statement insisting that he personally would vote blue, but his designated successor would vote red. He also urged all pregnant women to vote red.

Nobody was talking about anything else beside Saturday’s vote. The weekly episode of World War Woke had a darker tone as Toxic Teddy interviewed B-list popstar Daisy Short. The interviewed was held remotely; both sat wearing headphones in their own personal studios  with YouTube plaques in the background.

“I’m still processing this whole existence of God thing,” said Toxic Teddy. “I think it says a lot about the way our culture is headed by His appearance. I think that He has had it with all these virtue signaling hypothetical questions. So what if you would take a bullet for the President or the Pope or Bernie Sanders. That isn’t your job. So what if you would give up your seat in a lifeboat for you wife. You never take her on a cruise anyway.”

“I think God wants us all to vote blue as a show of unity,” said Daisy Short.

“Toxic Teddy held up a hand. “Consider this. God gave us free will. He gave us the power to choose. If He just wanted us to die, He’d just kill us. But now He is giving us a choice. We can choose to live by voting red or choose to die by voting blue. People who are suffering will choose blue. If all these healthy do-gooders get what they say they want and most people choose blue, then they are denying a merciful end to thousands of terminally ill patients. On the hand, the results could be even more disastrous and billions of healthy people will die in one weekend.”

“Is that really a bad thing though?” asked Daisy.

“Excuse me?”

“Consider that our planet is dying. We won’t do the right thing and cut back on carbon emissions. It’s not even a matter of limited resources; we are choking to death on our own waste. So God is stepping in, and putting the solution in front of our faces. Everyone in the Global North should choose blue, and everyone in the Global South should choose red.”

Toxic Teddy snorted. “No! Look, the way the original red-blue question was framed, you had to make the choice instantly, without communicating with anyone else. But here, we’ve been given a whole week to talk it out and make the right choice. And the right choice is red! Folks, I apologize. I agreed to interview Daisy a month ago, before all this God thing happened.”

“Seriously, Teddy, people like YOU are what’s wrong with this world!”

“Okay, you’re all going to be dead after Saturday, so I don’t need to care about what you think. Goodbye.”

The next day, a #ChooseBlue activist posted a video of himself beheading Toxic Teddy with a machete. I couldn’t tell if it was AI or not, but the safety algorithms were allowing all sorts of content like that.

Finally, Saturday came along. I voted red. I went online and saw dozens videos of people filming themselves voting. There were way more people advertising their choice to vote blue, but there were still a few reassuring me that red was the right choice.

After the voting was done, my phone started playing a video.

It showed a glowing orb  hovering behind the president’s podium.

“Yeah, he died. You need to know that he lied about voting blue, and he actually voted red. And then he had a heart attack. I didn’t kill him. In fact, I’m not killing anyone, even thought the tally was 48% blue. This was just a test, like that time I told Abraham to kill Isaac. Yes, that really happened, but I just wanted to see what people would do. Please just be good to each other. See you in a few thousand years or so.”

 

We had a new President and we all moved on with our lives. After a couple days, the entire Internet had been scrubbed of content related to the red/blue vote. Nobody I’ve talked to seemed to acknowledge that it happened. There were numerous conspiracy theories about the old  President being poisoned, but people rarely about the glowing orb or the voting. When it is brought up, people will dismiss it at an elaborate prank.

But I KNOW it happened. Because it changed me. Because I now believe in God, and I know He hates hypothetical scenarios. And I am making this my entire personality from now on.