Showing posts with label sci fi humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sci fi humor. Show all posts
Monday, August 05, 2013
Thursday, February 07, 2013
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
Rivertown
I'm getting used to a new WACOM tablet. It's like going from a mountain bike to a crotch rocket. Better performance, but I still have to learn how to use the damn thing. It's bigger, badder, and the cord is easier to replace when the cat chews through it.
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
The future of monarchy
"The Mote in God's Eye"
"Dune"
"Star Wars"
The first two are science fiction books that take place in the future. The third is a movie that take place in a distant galaxy in the past. All three feature emperors ruling over vast regions of outer space.
A reoccurring theme in sci-fi is technology moving forward while society moves backwards. So you'll have post apocalyptic movies where everyone rides around in hovercrafts but nobody exhibits any manners or personal hygiene. In the examples I've cited above, it is taken to its logical extreme: People can fly faster than the speed of light but can't choose their own leaders. It's as if while all the smart people were working on faster than light travel, the dumb people banded together and made one of themselves king.
I would think that, no matter how evil or powerful you are, referring to oneself as "emperor" is a bad PR move. It pretty much spells out your intentions in advance, which is what most successful politicians try to avoid. I could imagine someone like Palpatine becoming neighborhood association president, but he simply wouldn't be able to influence more than a 1000 followers in real life. And most of them would be trying to rub him out so they could take his place, so you could see how that model breaks down rather quickly.
"Dune" "TMIGE" and "Star Wars" are classics. The writers were likely trying to imagine a society different from that with what the audience would be familiar. I hope that future writers try to imagine something that has not existed yet, rather than something obsolete.
"Dune"
"Star Wars"
The first two are science fiction books that take place in the future. The third is a movie that take place in a distant galaxy in the past. All three feature emperors ruling over vast regions of outer space.
A reoccurring theme in sci-fi is technology moving forward while society moves backwards. So you'll have post apocalyptic movies where everyone rides around in hovercrafts but nobody exhibits any manners or personal hygiene. In the examples I've cited above, it is taken to its logical extreme: People can fly faster than the speed of light but can't choose their own leaders. It's as if while all the smart people were working on faster than light travel, the dumb people banded together and made one of themselves king.
I would think that, no matter how evil or powerful you are, referring to oneself as "emperor" is a bad PR move. It pretty much spells out your intentions in advance, which is what most successful politicians try to avoid. I could imagine someone like Palpatine becoming neighborhood association president, but he simply wouldn't be able to influence more than a 1000 followers in real life. And most of them would be trying to rub him out so they could take his place, so you could see how that model breaks down rather quickly.
"Dune" "TMIGE" and "Star Wars" are classics. The writers were likely trying to imagine a society different from that with what the audience would be familiar. I hope that future writers try to imagine something that has not existed yet, rather than something obsolete.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Memo to the crew
You are all aware of several instances in which senior officers, including myself, were trapped inside the holodeck and placed in mortal danger by holograms run amok. To correct these malfunctions, Mr. LaForge has downloaded the most recent HoloWindows patch. McWalbucksoft Corporation has promised that this latest upgrade will fix the problem. Even though this sort of thing has happened on multiple occasions in the past, I am certain that it will not happen again. So I decided to reopen the holodeck.
On a related note, please clean up the holodeck when you are done with it. I don’t know or care what you do in there, but Mr. LaForge has had to replace several holoemitters when they became sticky. Remember that when the holodeck is turned off, only the holograms disappear. Anything that you put on or inside of your holographic girlfriend, imzadi, moogie, or whatever you call her will still be there and will fall straight to the floor.
On a related note, please clean up the holodeck when you are done with it. I don’t know or care what you do in there, but Mr. LaForge has had to replace several holoemitters when they became sticky. Remember that when the holodeck is turned off, only the holograms disappear. Anything that you put on or inside of your holographic girlfriend, imzadi, moogie, or whatever you call her will still be there and will fall straight to the floor.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
The Future of Death Notification
While Rumsfeld has been criticised for using a autopen on death notices to families, mass casualties in future conflicts may require a more efficient process:
Dear Sir/Madam/(other)Starfleet Command regrets to inform you that your (check one)
_son
_daughter
_spouse
_mate
_imzadi
_clone
_evil goateed version from mirror universe
_spawn
_transporter duplicate
has been tragically (check one)
_vaporized.
_eaten.
_assimilated.
_turned into little white cube and crushed.
_sucked into space through airlock.
_sucked into space through hull breach.
_sucked into space through shuttle bay doors.
_beamed into space.
_beamed into solid object.
_burned up in re-entry.
_burned up in a star's corona.
_hacked to bits by deranged crewmate.
_de-evolved into some kind of fish, then suffocated from lack of water.
_turned up missing somewhere in this big damn universe.
_issued a red shirt, so we're sending this in advance, just in case.
_part of the few whose needs were outweighed by the needs of the many.
_gloriously entered the gates of Sto' vo' Kor.
In the past, this notice would have been accompanied by a large check. But since there is no money anymore in our progressive utopian Federation, enjoy this cheesy little glass thing that has a dinky hologram of your loved one.
Dear Sir/Madam/(other)Starfleet Command regrets to inform you that your (check one)
_son
_daughter
_spouse
_mate
_imzadi
_clone
_evil goateed version from mirror universe
_spawn
_transporter duplicate
has been tragically (check one)
_vaporized.
_eaten.
_assimilated.
_turned into little white cube and crushed.
_sucked into space through airlock.
_sucked into space through hull breach.
_sucked into space through shuttle bay doors.
_beamed into space.
_beamed into solid object.
_burned up in re-entry.
_burned up in a star's corona.
_hacked to bits by deranged crewmate.
_de-evolved into some kind of fish, then suffocated from lack of water.
_turned up missing somewhere in this big damn universe.
_issued a red shirt, so we're sending this in advance, just in case.
_part of the few whose needs were outweighed by the needs of the many.
_gloriously entered the gates of Sto' vo' Kor.
In the past, this notice would have been accompanied by a large check. But since there is no money anymore in our progressive utopian Federation, enjoy this cheesy little glass thing that has a dinky hologram of your loved one.
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