Check Out This Fine Bitch!

I went to the dog show yesterday. Quite a few bitches and sons of bitches were on display.

Guess where I'm blogging from?

I'll give you a hint. I have a needle in my arm and I'm not at Robert Downey Jr.'s house.

Give up? I'm donating blood platelets and plasma at the Red Cross. They let us use the Internet here now. Only problem is, I have to type one handed on a keyboard that's shaking. So this is a brief post. Man, do I love multitasking.

Mean people

The other day, some guy told me to move my car even though I was parked legally on the street. He looked like he wanted to hit me and called me a word that means "bundle of sticks". Fortunatly, I was planning on leaving anyway, so I left. Parking spaces really are not worth fighting over

He probably thinks he won. Good for him. Whatever brings him happiness in this dreary world. Either he is normally a decent person and he was having an off-day, or he always acts that way. If the latter is the case then someday someone as small as him intellectually but bigger physically is going to park in "his" parking space. That will be a sad day, because that guy doesn't look like he has health insurance and the taxpayers will have to foot the bill for his trip to the emergency room and the stay in jail for the other fellow.

See, this guy needs a lesson in manners, but I don't feel like teaching it to him. There are plenty of people who do like teaching lessons, so I'll let them deal with the hassle. The inability to control one's emotions is a punishment in and of itself.

I feel the same way whenever someone cuts me off in traffic. I don't flip them off or tailgate them. I just figure that the odds are good that his wreckless behaivor will get him into an accident, and I'll won't be there when it happens. I feel quite smug that I don't have to deal with such people on a daily basis.

"The Simpsons" 20th anniversary

Today marks the 20th anniversary of the Simpsons' first apperance in an animated short on The Tracy Ulman Show. Primetime variety shows may be dead, but primetime animation proved to be more enduring. When the half hour version of The Simpsons became a hit, it inspired other animated shows, some successful (South Park, Family Guy) and some not (Capitol Critters, Fish Police).

Bart Simpson has been ten years old for the past twenty years. How time flies...

BSN: The "N" Stands for News!

Hillary Clinton Threatens Gender Discrimination Suit Against Electorate

Sen. Hillary Clinton announced today that she is considering filing a class action lawsuit against American voters on the grounds that there is a pattern of discrimination against women in the selection of US presidents. "If the American people establish a willingness to nominate and elect women to the presidency within the next 18 months, then I would consider not following through with this lawsuit," said Clinton. "Otherwise, you all can be expect to be served with papers."

No Subject

"Chicken Soup" titles we'd like to see:

Chicken Soup for the Window Washer's Soul
Chicken Soup for the Kid Who's Always Picked Last's Soul
Chicken Soup for the Axe Murderer's Soul
Chicken Soup for the Crack Whore's Soul
Chicken Soup for the Greedy CEO's Soul
Chicken Soup for the Chronic Masturbator's Soul
Chicken Soup for Ann Coulter's Soul
Chicken Soup for the Child Molester's Soul
Chicken Soup for the Guy Who Runs the Drug House Down the Street's Soul
Chicken Soup for the Convenience Store Dude's Soul
Chicken Soup for the Hooker's Soul
Chicken Soup for the Pimp's Soul
Chicken Soup for George Bush's Soul
Chicken Soup for the Executioner's Soul
Chicken Soup for the "Girls Gone Wild" Creator's Soul
Chicken Soup for Osama bin Laden's Soul.
Chicken Soup for Don Imus's Soul
Chicken Soup for the Downsized Worker's Soul
Chicken Soup for the Michelin Tire Mascot's Soul
Chicken Soup for the Little Spider You Crushed In Your Bathtub's Soul
Chicken Soup for the Idiot Who Cut You Off On The Highway's Soul
Chicken Soup for the Security Guard's Soul
Chicken Soup for the Woefully Underpaid Columnist's Soul

Posted by Gloria Diaz




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Imus

What I find interesting is that whenever a celebrity says something offensive, they keep airing and reprinting the comment over and over again, so that everyone can get a chance to be offended. If these words cause that much harm, wouldn't it be better to repremand the guy who said them then drop the subject? One slip-up should not cost a man his career. But if he shows a pattern of racial outbursts, by all means fire that honkey.

The future of this blog

I have decided to make this a humor blog. All future post about politics will be posted at "Summit City Libertarians" or the Allen County LP blog. While I might make occasional posts about my personal life here, there just isn't that much drama in my life right now and for that I am grateful. I will NEVER blog about my current job though. A good day working security is a boring day, which wouldn't be worth writing about. On the mercifully rare occasions when something interesting happens, I am obligated to protect the privacy of my company's clients.

Robert Enders for President in 2008!

The current state of the world today leaves us with many questions to ponder. Will there be victory in Iraq? Will mankind reach Mars in our lifetime? Will Americans be willing to vote for a candidate who doesn't have a history of substance abuse?
We will find the answers to these questions soon. I am proud to announce that I will be seeking the Libertarian nomination for President of the United States in 2008. I look back at those who have been chosen in the past to lead this great nation, from Gerald Ford to Bill Clinton. And I think that if the country is more or less intact after their stewardship, then there can't be any harm if I take a crack at it. Assuming of course we survive the stewardship of the current president.
Many naysayers claim that because I'm only 28, I am too young to be the next president. The Constitution says that I must be 35 years old in order to become commander-in-chief. But if that document doesn't get in the way of George W. Bush as he pursues his vision for America, then I won't let it get in the way of me!