That time Trump got shot in Pennsylvania.

 Let's get a couple things out of the way. I have never voted for Donald Trump, and I never plan to. I oppose all political violence, whether it is against Trump or caused by Trump. Those are my opinions, and I know that not everyone reading this agrees with them. We live in an era where cold hard facts are treated like opinions. On July 13, 2024, Thomas Matthew Crooks shot Trump with a rifle before being killed by the Secret Service. The FBI and the Secret Service agree on that, and yet people think I'm an idiot for believing them.

Right-wing conspiracy theorists claimed that Biden was trying to have Trump killed. They seemed to have stopped saying this now that Trump is President and presumably has access to all the relevant files. 

Left-wing conspiracy theorists claim that Trump staged the whole thing. There is a picture of the bullet passing by Trump's head. Whatever else you or I think about Trump, I do think that he likes being alive and would NOT attend the rally if he knew his supporters were going to stage a shootout with live ammunition just to help him win Pennsylvania's 19 electoral votes.

One common argument is that an AR-15 round would have obliterated Trump's ear. This thinking is likely the result of a generation raised on first person shooter games where every shot that even touches a character's head results in a kill. Real life is a bit more complicated and unpredictable. The bullet grazed Trump's ear: it rubbed against the skin and removed enough tissue to cause the ear to bleed.

"How did his ear heal so fast?" It may have had stitches or it may have been cauterized for all I know. His hair and his hat tend to block the view of any possible scar tissue. I'm not a doctor and neither are most people reading this. Trump could provide us with answers by releasing his medical records. But why would he do that? We're wasting all this energy and bandwidth arguing about it, so it's smart of him to let us bicker.

It's understandable that people might have lots and lots of questions about an incident like this. But we can apply Occam's Razor here and come up with the simplest explanation: one lone nutjob tried to kill a Presidential candidate. It's always one lone nutjob, because normal people tend to like being alive and dislike killing. Normal people also talk too much to be an effective part of a conspiracy.

I do think that the Secret Service should have removed Trump from the stage as soon as Crooks was detected. That is an easy thing to say in hindsight, but the Secret Service tries very hard to avoid the appearance of interfering with presidential politics. Removing Trump from the stage before Crooks had the chance to fire off a shot might have been construed as trying to cause Trump to lose the election.

I also think that Presidents and candidates should avoid having rallies at open air venues. But I'm a safety first kind of guy.

Where did I go?

 So it's been about 10 months since I updated this blog. I'll give you a quick summary.

August 2024- I started pooping blood and losing weight even though I wasn't trying to lose weight. I go to a GI special and get a colonoscopy scheduled.

September 2024- My diarrhea starts getting worse. The colonoscopy tests negative for cancer, but I'm told I have ulcerative colitis. Then on a follow up visit, they run a blood test and my blood sugar was at 400. I think that's as high as the meter goes, so it was probably higher than that. They tell me to go to the ER and I get told that I have type 2 diabetes, Crohn's disease, AND ulcerative colitis.

October 2024- I end up in the hospital again. I went to the hospital for some outpatient tests and they decided that I should be an inpatient. My numbers just looked that bad to them. A couple weeks later, I felt so sick that I called 911. It was a Sunday night, no walk-in clinics were open, so I decided to play it safe. I thought I was dying. The ER doc sent me home. I had to take an Uber. The ambulance ride was about $1500 after insurance. I asked my sister in Indianapolis if I could stay with her for a few days. I didn't even make it one night at her house before I had to go to the ER again. They told me I had salmonella.

November 2024- Still at my sister's house, still having diarrhea. I end up at the ER again and they tell me it's a respiratory  infection. I spent a few days wearing a nasal cannula.

December 2024- I keep hoping that I get to go back to work soon. The GI specialist tells me that I should be good to go back to work on January 20th

January 2025- I'm still pooping a lot and getting weaker. My feet were swelling due to dependent edema. If I wanted to cross my legs, I had to pick up my leg with my hands and drape it over my other leg. On January 14th, I had abdominal pain. I had a friend drive me to a walk-in clinic because I didn't think the ER would take me seriously. The clinic did some tests and told me to go to the ER. The ER sent me to an OR on the other side of town via ambulance. I was told that I had a perforated colon.

So they took out part of my colon and put in a stoma on my belly. I was so weak after my surgery that I couldn't walk. I was also on an NPO restriction: Nil Per Oral. That means I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything for about a week. I got all my nutrients via IV. I didn't watch the Superspreader-In-Chief's inauguration, but I kept seeing him with that Air Force One cake on the news. I kept thinking how badly I wanted cake right then and there. By the end of the month, they let me eat solid foods again and I got transferred to physical rehab.

February 2[25-I get to go home, but I don't get to go back to work yet. I'm not supposed to lift anything over ten pounds and climbing the stairs is a challenge.

March 2025- I get to go back to work. I still have to poop into a bag on my belly. I still have to wear a glucose sensor and take insulin.

April 2025-There is a woman in my life who insists we are strictly platonic. I give her platonic foot rubs and platonic backrubs. I take her to platonic restaurants where we eat platonic food. She won't let me meet her other platonic friends because she doesn't want them to know how platonic we are. We spend more time arguing about petty stuff than I did with my ex-wife. But she still keeps coming over to my house to watch TV. This is like the friendzone but with extra responsibility. Her chief complaint about me is that she can't tell if I'm being sarcastic or autistic when I talk.

May 2025- I think I'm done with my latest novel. Before I start querying, I saw that I haven't updated my blog in 10 months. So here you go.